While you’re out there on the internet trying to choose between the Sexy Donald Trump costume and the Sexy Pizza Rat costume, I thought I’d give you some better alternatives. Why? Because your family keeps you busy and these sexy halloween costumes for moms are so DIY, you’re probably already dressed.
But first, go check out the original Sexy Moms post because last Halloween, my friends brought sexy back so hard, this post spread like a stomach virus in a preschool. I was hearing from people all over the country telling me they saw this on their local news, in the papers, on the radio plus it was on Today.com, Jezebel, The Huffington Post, PopSugar and many, many more.
Now on to the sexiest Halloween costumes for moms.
Suzanne of Toulouse & Tonic (this blog that you MUST follow if you don’t like garbage)
With all the sexy costumes out there, Halloween has become the trashiest holiday around – but this year, nobody will be trashier than you in our Tantalizing Trash Can costume. Yoga pants starting to smell? Don’t toss them, just put them on again and add our purple “athleisure” top that’s loose enough to hide all the garbage that you’ve been eating. You’ll need to add your own banana peel and empty bag of Pirate’s Booty but the kids come with the costume if they don’t stop fighting right this minute.
Sold out in L, XL and XXL.
*post contains affiliate links Jessica of Four Plus An Angel
What’s her naughty secret? She’ll never tell and neither will you when you’re wearing our Homeschooling Hottie costume. No need to study the sexy features of this outfit – you’ll ace the test in our comfy 3-piece stretch ensemble complete with paper airplane for your head and a pair of reading glasses that look like they’re borrowed from the school librarian, except you are the school librarian, the cook, the janitor, the teacher, the principal, the coach and everything else. Accessorize with your own feeling of utter chaos, a case of pencils and a group of kids who don’t listen to a word you say.
Deva of My Lifesuckers
Indulge in a day of forbidden frivolity when you spend Halloween in our Hot Mess Mom costume. Uh-uh, no cleaning for you because you’re a dirty little hausfrau, aren’t you? Costume comes complete with our oldest yoga pants, a tight “Hot Mess” pink tee and whatever other crap we rake off the table into the box before we mail it to you.
Deluxe Hot Mess Mom costume comes with a set of lipstick-stained teeth and a hoodie with copious cigarette burns.
Ellen of Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
You’re not a crazy cat lady, you’re a purrrrfect little pussy when you wear our Provocative Pooper Scooper costume. You’ll go into a feline frenzy when you’re wrapped in our polyester Cheetah-print robe with our pink fuzzy cat ears playfully perched on your head. Accessorize with your own matching pink pooper scooper and every dawg in the neighborhood will be scratching at your door.
Kim of Let Me Start By Saying
Who’s inside that tent? You know you want to slip inside and see. Uh-oh, it’s just your kids so go back to setting some campfires ablaze when you walk the wilds in our new Captivating Camper ensemble. Earn your badge in this campfire cutie costume that includes a wanton wolf onsie and a raspberry beret hot enough to set Prince aflame. Give me s’more!
Paige of There’s More Where That Came From
Don’t have any preconceived notions about how sexy you can be when you’re 8 1/2 months pregnant. Plenty sexy when you wear our Pouty Preggo costume. This giant blue tee and stretchy shorts are the same ones you’ve been wearing for 5 days in a row but we’ll send you a red bow to tie across your bloated belly. Top off this ensemble by crying at the drop of a hat when you get a bit of popsicle on your shirt or see an old couple holding hands. Improvise. And remember, you’re pouting for two!
Unbridled tears and backache your own. Only available in XL.
Brenna of Suburban Snapshots
Working with hazardous material can leave you exposed to some pretty nasty stuff but nothing’s as nasty as you in our Hazmat Hottie costume. Your kids might have the flu but you got dat ass! So bend over and pick up those tissues ever so slowly. This deluxe costume comes with our Papilloma Purple mask, dress and a bunch of wadded up tissues that might be carrying something.
Gloves and boots your own. Accessorize with a roll of paper towels and a prescription for Zofran.
Meredith from Mom of the Year
You’ll provide exceptional service in our maid for you Misbehaving Maid costume – although there’s no getting you clean, you dirty little minx. Put on our blue tee and black stretchy pants, tie a sweatshirt around your ass and crawl around on your hands and knees like the handmaiden you are. Striking details include reading glasses you can never find even though they’re on your head, black ballet flats with white tennis socks and a look that conveys the complete futility of trying to clean anything when children exist.
Please add your own toy doctor’s kit and silk-wrapped faux lollipop to clench in your teeth while muttering like a crazy person.
Terri Peters, TODAY Parents writer
Oh are you hungry? Well, our Shagalicious Short Order Cook has something you can put in your mouth! What’s that I see? A DOG on the TABLE? That’s right. She’s in violation of every health code imaginable but she’s still gonna make you drool for her goodies in our red and white polka dot apron and giant gray robe.
Just add last night’s empty wine bottle, at least two kids who always want something different to eat and a rescue pup to actually eat the stuff you made. Order up!
Other than being big-time sexy, which takes up a lot of my time, I’ve also started my book. I’d love to to let you know when it’s available, so pop your email in the subscribe box below to get an email when something new is going on. You can find the other incredibly funny books I’m a part of here.
Whether you’ll be wearing a costume or not, you know you need your wine to get in the spirit. Might I suggest this goblet and these awesome ghoulish wine labels? TRICK OR TREAT, you sexy beasts!
How about a tantalizing taxi driver?
Hilarious post. I think the disheveled dishwashing diva would be my costume. You know, sexy yellow rubber gloves. That wet spot across my shirt from dishwater splashing up over the rim of the sink. The hunched shoulders. : ) Though in actuality, my dish gloves are purple – because i like to live dangerously.
My idea: Private lesson primadonna! Complete with your most alluring mom jeans, lawn mowing sneakers and tshirt you slept in the night before. Don’t forget that music your kid left on the coffee table!
Still sexy. Not a bad thing, not complaining.
How about the DIY hottie? I know a lot of bloggers can relate to this one! Woman in paint-splattered sweatpants and giant tee, paint flecks in your hair for a week, and one whiny kid asking when you’re going to finally make dinner! Optional prop: structurally unsound furniture, half-completed.
Love it!!!