I Don't Want To Talk About That Right Now

A few years ago, I was backpacking through Europe with my homeslice, Michael, for two weeks, and we’d already stopped over in various unpronounceable, consonant-heavy cities in Germany (Ein mal beir, bitte), then moved on to Paris and Amsterdam when we decided to pop over to Brussels, Belgium for a little taste of their pride […]

Amber Eyes and The Lonely Unicorn

I love to write. Always have. You know how you have that thing you wanted to do, and did, even if badly, since you were a little kid? That’s me and writing. I wrote a “book” when I was 2. My parents still have it. I didn’t know how to actually write, of course. But […]

Free Money and Rainbows

Before I go into my court appearance yesterday morning (see Blue Lights and the Damage Done), I’d like to give a shout-out to Anthony, who loitered outside the courthouse waiting on me as I paid my fees and then escorted me most of the way to my car asking to get a number or somewhere […]

Yucky Salmon and Cabbage.

Salmon and cabbage. Always direct in his communication, Asher says, “yuck.” Then again, the kid says yuck to cake. And ice cream. “It’s not yucky. It’s yummy,” I say back to him and then put on the universal, dramatic age-old performance where you put a bite in your mouth, make a crazy-person happy face, roll […]

Get Used To It

Are people getting more openly rude or is it just some kind of coincidence that this keeps happening to me? (The Indulgent Idiot; Happy Birthday Day. You’re Old.) One day last week, I took Asher for an evening walk after dinner, as is our custom lately what with his overabundant energy and the tree frog […]

Barney is Dead

If you have kids or just have anything a kid has ever colored on, threw up on, or otherwise shat upon, you might be interested in this site: shitmykidsruined. And while we’re on that subject, this is what greeted Gabe when he walked into Asher’s bedroom first thing yesterday morning. That limp purple thing was […]

It’s Not Good For You. Eat It Anyway.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my extensive cooking instruction over the last few years (i.e. watching Top Chef), it’s that the best food is the simplest. It doesn’t have to be fancy at all — just use the best, freshest ingredients and cook it perfectly. Especially meat. I have eaten so much overcooked […]

Blue Lights and The Damage Done

Is there any faster way to have your heart drop into the pit of your stomach than hearing a siren screech on and then seeing flashing blue lights in your review mirror? Especially when you know your tag is expired? I had a bit of a taxing day Tuesday. A woman in blue decided to […]

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We're parenting. And we're laughing. Because it's better than crying.

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