Honest Wine Labels for Moms

Buy Valentine Honest Wine Labels for Moms (as well as my everyday honest wine labels and other holiday versions) on etsy now!

Let’s be honest, moms. We love drinking wine. We neeeed our wine. And if there’s any time of year we deserve our wine, it’s Valentine’s Day.

We’re buying and preparing 73 Valentines and an equal number of cupcakes for our kids’ classes and yet we end up not getting a single card. Or if our husbands remember Valentine’s Day at all, they present us with a lacy thong so small it looks like it belongs to this Barbie Doll. I mean, extra credit for thinking I’m a size XS but I’m gonna need to drink this whole bottle of wine in order to even think of trying to get thing that halfway up one leg.

So just to make things more simple for everyone this Valentine’s Day, I’m proposing we take all confusion out of the mix and insist our wine labels just straight up say why we’re drinking it!

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here are 12 Honest Wine Labels for Moms™ – Valentine Edition. (If you want to give your mom friends a little V-day gift, these are perfect. Buy all 9 labels here, instantly download and print, then affix to your – or their – favorite bottles of wine. Then boom, you’ve given them a laugh and a buzz. YOU are a fabulous friend!). Or get them for yourself. They’re a good way to send a little message to your family.

Ah, the romantic aroma of “We’ve Got 15 minutes. Let’s Do This Thing.” There are many times drinking this wine is appropriate for any parent, none better than Valentine’s Day, but it’s best consumed behind a locked door, unless you want to have some ‘splainin to do. Busted!

“Husband Expects Me To Put On A Thong” is a complex wine with flavors of sweetness and bitterness inhabiting it equally. It’s best served very quickly once opened, with the consumption of each subsequent glass tasting more and more like you might actually try to put a lace string up your butt before the night is over.

If you’re fearful of adding yet another child to your brood, remember to pair “Please Don’t Get Me Pregnant” with a pack of condoms and some spermicide. On the other hand, if you barely have enough energy left over from your day with the kids to get the wine glass to your mouth, you should definitely lean towards the 2016 “Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I’m Way Too Tired To Have Sex, But Maybe I’ll Blow You.”

That wasn’t enough, was it? There are so many other reasons we need our wine. So here’s 12 Honest Wine Labels for Moms and 12 MORE Honest Wine Labels for Moms. And yes, I remembered lice is a verrrry good reason to drink wine. (BTW, this is what’s kept those creatures away from our house)

Okay, I have to go try to drink away my FUPA now. Cheers! If you want to meet me at the wine party, I recommend these awesome wine tumblers. One for you and one for a friend (like ME).

I can’t wait to see what YOUR wine labels would say. Leave them in the comments and maybe I’ll make up even MORE Honest Wine Labels for Moms!

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Don’t forget you can now buy all varieties of honest wine labels for moms here. They make the perfect gift for that wine-loving mom in your life who could use a good laugh – and that pretty much describes us all, now doesn’t it? Perfect for playdates, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, gift baskets, Mother’s Day or just any old day.