This weekend, I tried paddle boarding for the first time. I stepped on the board, started paddling straight out into the bay and suddenly everyone was shouting at me to turn around before the current got hold of me. And they were right. I’d been moving with it and when I tried to turn around on the board, it was a shit show. I was waddling back and forth, moving my feet around (which you aren’t supposed to do), digging in the water with the paddle trying to turn around and then … and then some show-off asshole on a jet ski decided to go past me at the speed of light. Do you know what that means, dear readers? That means wake. And wake means waves.
I’m just glad no one was filming me because I wobbled around like an idiot. Running forward on the board trying to keep my balance, waving the paddle in the air, tipping backwards on the board, turning around and well, we can all guess what happened next. I gave the paddle board a ride back onto the shore instead of the other way around while any number of both inebriated and not inebriated people howled on the shore and nearby docks.
By the next day, I had that shit down though. First, don’t stand on the paddleboard like a surfboard, dumbass. Stand with your feet parallel to each other, bend your knees a bit, spread your toes like you do in yoga and feel the board – then go. You’ll find that it’s much easier when the water is glassy and there’s not a lot of wind. It’s also much easier when you bring along a chill partner like I did.
If instead, you decide to bring along both of your kids, you’ll end up more like my husband.
And then I just happened to be filming at the exact right moment. #paddleboard #bigsplash #gulfcoast A video posted by Toulouse&Tonic (@toulouseandtonic) on
That is to say, wet.
Either way, tons of fun. Maybe for the paddleboarder. Maybe for the people watching. Maybe for the dog. Maybe for everyone if you bring a camera like the one we got my 8yo for his birthday (takes pics, takes video and shoots underwater, great reviews, he LOVES it).
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