Saying No On The Way To Yes.

Perhaps the most confirmed bachelor on the planet has reportedly gotten engaged.  If it’s true, George Clooney has left a pile of women on the side of the road along his way to (intended) marriage.  Women like Stacy Keibler, Kelly Preston, Lucy Lui, Renee Zellweger, Celine Balitran, Krista Allen, Elisabetta Canalis … I could go on but why?  Clearly, when you’ve been hot and single for 20 years (he was married to Talia Balsam for a few years until 1993), you have time to go through a LOT of serial relationships.

People are confused.  When someone like George, whose quotes about marriage are legendary, finally settles down, everyone thinks it’s magic.  What does this woman have that none of the others have?

It is magic, ladies.  And it’s not a magic box.  It’s the power of no.

George’s fiance, Amal Allamudin, turned him down 2 times before finally saying yes to a date on his 3rd try.  How many women do you think have said no to George Clooney along the way?  I bet not too many women were willing to see if he’d bother to ask again.  In fact, I’m not sure I’d have been as reticent as Amal.  Oh, let’s be honest, I’d have said “YES!” so hard he’d have gotten a restraining order against me.

But Amal said no and Clooney the bachelor is at last engaged.  This just confirms my personally researched hypothesis that most men need to hear no on the way to yes.  I say personally researched because I was single for a loooong time and I did not always say no.  But I eventually decided that yes, yes, yes is just too easy for the male of the species.  If they don’t fight to win something, they don’t think they’ve won anything worth keeping.

I’m sure this stance will be controversial, especially with the “submissive” crowd – and that’s fine.  Whatever works for you, well, make it work for you, HUNTY (I’m thinking quoting RuPaul probably detracts further from the validity of my argument for that crowd.  So be it.).

But my opinion, confirmed by my dating relationship with my challenge-loving husband, is that the way to be a little different from all the other girls along the way, is to say no.  And sometimes HELL NO.

Here’s a secret I’ve never revealed to you before.  Gabe tried to date me for a full 3 months before I said yes.  He was a drummer in a touring band (and very cute) so he was used to hearing a whole lot of yes.  In fact, one of the first nights we hung out together a bit (not a date), he followed me all the way to my car and tried to get in.  When I told him he wasn’t going home with me, he actually got a little perturbed.  I just smiled and said goodbye.

But he was undeterred, and several months later, after lots and lots of long phone conversations, flirting and very persistent asking out, we started dating.  Two years later we were married and he was in law school instead of in a band.

I didn’t MAKE any of this happen.  If he hadn’t been into me in the first place, he’d have just gone away after I said no.  If we hadn’t been compatible and had great chemistry, we wouldn’t have eventually fallen in love.  So what I’m saying is not to play games and catch yourself a man.  The prescription this Dr. Love is giving you is simple.  Don’t be afraid to say no.

We all know that what eventually made someone like George Clooney settle down is not as simple as his fiancé having said no to him when he asked her out on a date.  But I can tell you this, it didn’t hurt.

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