humor – Toulouse and Tonic https://toulouseandtonic.com Making my kids hate me one post at a time. Mon, 01 Apr 2019 17:39:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.17 39181224 The Lazy Person’s Guide to the 9 Best Inventions of all time. https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-lazy-persons-guide-to-the-9-best-inventions-of-all-time/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-lazy-persons-guide-to-the-9-best-inventions-of-all-time/#respond Tue, 23 Feb 2016 14:00:31 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=7895 I love that in this post Mike was inspired solely by things that encourage laziness. The original title of this piece was just something like “People Who Should Be Drinking Free For The Rest of Their Lives Because They Invented These Things,” which in and of itself is pretty hilarious. But then I noticed that […]

The post The Lazy Person’s Guide to the 9 Best Inventions of all time. appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-lazy-persons-guide-to-the-9-best-inventions-of-all-time/feed/ 0 7895 10 Practical Things to Teach Your Kids Before They’re Out On Their Own https://toulouseandtonic.com/10-practical-things-to-teach-your-kids-before-theyre-out-on-their-own/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/10-practical-things-to-teach-your-kids-before-theyre-out-on-their-own/#respond Thu, 14 Jan 2016 14:00:25 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=7676 Mike is feeling prolific these days after a long dry spell. Did I mention that he’s raised 3 awesome kids to adult status? Despite his curmudgeonly habits, he’s actually a pretty awesome dad (plus he has the benefit of a really kickass wife) so today, he offers you 10 practical things to teach your kids […]

The post 10 Practical Things to Teach Your Kids Before They’re Out On Their Own appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/10-practical-things-to-teach-your-kids-before-theyre-out-on-their-own/feed/ 0 7676 The Elf on the Shelf is Dead https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-elf-on-the-shelf-is-dead/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-elf-on-the-shelf-is-dead/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2015 14:00:39 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=5702 It’s been one year since our poor Mr. Jingles left us so tragically. A poor Elf on the shelf, gone way too soon. (For some people, but not for me.) Yes, it’s true. The Elf on the Shelf is dead. We are gathered together today to pay tribute to one of the fallen, Mr. Jingles. […]

The post The Elf on the Shelf is Dead appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-elf-on-the-shelf-is-dead/feed/ 29 5702 100 Funny Kid Quotes That Will Make You LOL https://toulouseandtonic.com/100-funny-kid-quotes-that-will-make-you-lol/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/100-funny-kid-quotes-that-will-make-you-lol/#comments Sun, 22 Nov 2015 14:00:12 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=7371 Today, my 3yo told me he’d be right back, he was just going to the “diamond room” for a minute. As much as it might sound to you like we’re running a strip club in our home, I’m pretty sure he meant the room where we eat dinner. That’s just the beginning of the funny […]

The post 100 Funny Kid Quotes That Will Make You LOL appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/100-funny-kid-quotes-that-will-make-you-lol/feed/ 3 7371 The Sexiest Halloween Costumes for Moms https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-sexiest-halloween-costumes-for-moms/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-sexiest-halloween-costumes-for-moms/#comments Tue, 13 Oct 2015 10:10:26 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=7518 While you’re out there on the internet trying to choose between the Sexy Donald Trump costume and the Sexy Pizza Rat costume, I thought I’d give you some better alternatives. Why? Because your family keeps you busy and these sexy halloween costumes for moms are so DIY, you’re probably already dressed. But first, go check […]

The post The Sexiest Halloween Costumes for Moms appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/the-sexiest-halloween-costumes-for-moms/feed/ 8 7518 Unprofessional Parenting Advice https://toulouseandtonic.com/unprofessional-parenting-advice/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/unprofessional-parenting-advice/#respond Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:00:44 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=7089 *post contains affiliate links I am known far and wide for my professional parenting advice. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face even over the internet on that one. What I’m actually known for, if anything, is finding the humor in this crazy, imperfect, chaotic, relentless job called parenting. And so here for you is […]

The post Unprofessional Parenting Advice appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/unprofessional-parenting-advice/feed/ 0 7089 20 Things The Second Baby Taught Me https://toulouseandtonic.com/20-things-second-baby-taught/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/20-things-second-baby-taught/#comments Tue, 18 Nov 2014 20:24:59 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=5904 My little one will be 3 in a couple of months and I’m feeling nostalgic as his babyhood slips away.  I remember wondering if there was enough room in my heart to love another child as much as I loved the first one.  Turns out, there was no need to worry — and this one from […]

The post 20 Things The Second Baby Taught Me appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/20-things-second-baby-taught/feed/ 10 5904 A Jew, a Christian and a Christmas Tree https://toulouseandtonic.com/a-jew-a-christian-and-a-christmas-tree/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/a-jew-a-christian-and-a-christmas-tree/#comments Tue, 10 Dec 2013 16:45:31 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=5696 A certain sad-sack once rescued a forlorn tree from certain Christmas oblivion, giving it a home and a single ornament to call its own.  When Charlie Brown saw that sad, lonely tree, it spoke to him and he knew it was meant to be. This year, a tree spoke to my husband.  Just like that. […]

The post A Jew, a Christian and a Christmas Tree appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/a-jew-a-christian-and-a-christmas-tree/feed/ 19 5696 I Just Want To Pee Alone. Don’t You? https://toulouseandtonic.com/i-just-want-to-pee-alone-dont-you/ https://toulouseandtonic.com/i-just-want-to-pee-alone-dont-you/#comments Mon, 11 Mar 2013 08:51:29 +0000 https://toulouseandtonic.com//?p=4642 Today is the realization of a lifelong dream for me.  Over the weekend, just a little earlier than I was expecting, I was published.  In a real book.  That you can buy.  And that I can, like, autograph.  If anyone wants.  (looksdownkicksrocks) And in 48 hours, that book — I Just Want To Pee Alone […]

The post I Just Want To Pee Alone. Don’t You? appeared first on Toulouse and Tonic.

]]> https://toulouseandtonic.com/i-just-want-to-pee-alone-dont-you/feed/ 10 4642