Last week, I shared with you 15 Things My Husband Would Never Figure Out Without Me and 15 Things I’d Never Figure Out Without My Husband (written mostly so I could write the other one). This week, it’s all about my boys. I wrote 20 Things My Boys Would Never Figure Out Without Me.  I meant to do 15 but I was just getting warmed up at that point.

See, I’m from a family of girls and this #lifewithboys journey is a constant learning experience for me. There are many many wonderful things about having sons.  Then there are some things that are, umm, puzzling to say the least.  Puzzling for me and puzzling for them.  Here are 20 things they seem exceptionally puzzled about.

1. Where to put down a half-eaten banana. Or a candy wrapper. Or a toy they don’t want to hold anymore. “Here you go, mommy.”

2. How to talk without yelling. How to not talk over each other. How to talk it out instead of punching each other.

3. How to change a toilet paper roll. Where we keep the extra toilet paper.  How to acquire more toilet paper without yelling “MOM!!!!”

4. Why their bathroom smells like pee. (Hint: it’s called bad aim.)

5. Where their shoes are. How can someone who doesn’t wear their shoes (me) always have a better idea of where they are than they do?

6. That it is profoundly dumb to repeatedly pound yourself in the head with your own hand.

7.  Why they need to bathe.

8. If they should or should not repeat the same question or statement 490 times in a row.

9. That you don’t need 17 pumps of hand soap to wash your hands or half a bottle of baby wash for a single bath.

10. Where we keep the pencils, crayons, peanut butter, paper towels, their clothes, their homework, their backpacks and the TV remote, even though they use them every day and they are in the same place every day.

11. How to get “more food” without asking me to get it for to them.

12. That Happy Meals boxes are not just toy containers.

13. That Santa is watching them all the time and not just when I remind them.

14. That this is “not a restaurant.”

15. That I have 2 hands and they don’t need to fight to hold the same one.

16.  Why they shouldn’t lick weird random things like trees nor stick forks in their ears.

17. That asking grandparents for money is not the only way to acquire it (but they’ve figured out it’s the easiest).

18. How to take a bath without 3 gallons of water ending up on the floor.

19. That only half of the population thinks everything to do with farting and pooping is funny.

20. Where to put boogers. Hint: it’s not on the couch or the seat of my car. I’ve noticed that grown men have this problem too.

Tell me about all the things your kids would never figure out without you.  I’m sure the girls have a few things they’re puzzled about too. Although I suspect that boys are worse.